


Local Poltergeist is Tired of Cuties Putting Themselves Down

by vampirecult



Series: Requests / Commissions [1]
Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Flirting, Ghosts, M/M, Other, Short & Sweet, Shyness, gender neutral reader, implied nsfw later on, kind of reads from beej’s perspective?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 15:02:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18897031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirecult/pseuds/vampirecult
Summary: Beetlejuice happens upon a breather beating themself up in the bathroom and decides to intervene.cross-posted fromtumblr! the request was: "h-hewwo. i was wondering if you could write something pertaining to beetlejuice x a shy reader? i really love the way you write him!!"





	Local Poltergeist is Tired of Cuties Putting Themselves Down

Shy people, breathing or otherwise, are the most frequent victims of Beetlejuice’s pranks. There’s nothing more gratifying than seeing their cheeks go red, their faces fluster, their lips stutter over jumbled words they’re too shaken to sort through in the midst of a practical joke that’s gone a bit  _too_ well. This dynamic is a little different when it comes to romance, however. Sure, BJ likes his share of jokes and japes, but if he’s got his mind on someone you can be sure there’s a whole different deck of cards up his sleeve. At this point in the game, shyness takes on a  _different_ quality in Beej’s eyes. 

He’s always been a flirt—that much is obvious. Even before he was the Ghost with the Most, Beej was just about the randiest breather to ever walk the streets of his hometown. But… he’d be lying if he told you his sweet talk always had the desired effect on its recipient. He’ll go for just about anyone, for sure, no questions asked. If had to pick though, he’d say the shy ones are his favorite. They always have such perfect reactions to his flirtatious personality. Beetlejuice wouldn’t say he looks for this type specifically, but if he happens upon a particularly interesting one, he’ll take a pause in his interdimensional wandering for a peek and see if anything is worth stirring up. 

He happens upon a specific breather one night while sifting through his favorite string of household mirrors (down the American west coast - there’s some  _reaallll_ fun to be had in Hollywood when you’re an all-powerful poltergeist). They’re in an old house picking at their face in a chipped bathroom mirror, trying too obviously not to look themself in the eyes. This strikes Beej as a little funny, so he sticks around and watches idly, hoping for something interesting to happen. The night has gone by rather dully and he could do with some entertainment.

Fortunately, this breather gives him something to work with. They huff and disgruntledly begin talking to themself. BJ stands at attention beyond the glass pane.

“Get yourself together. It won’t be that bad. No one’s gonna be looking closely at you.” They were going on about something he had no knowledge of, but impromptu pep talks in mirrors always made for good fun, so he listened. “…Oh, who am I kidding. It’s gonna be the same old routine the second I go into that party. I’ll stay for five minutes, get self-conscious, make some lame excuse then leave.”

Beetlejuice sat back and quirked an eyebrow. For the first time since he started watching, the breather met their eyes in the mirror. Beej felt like they were making eye contact even though he hadn’t revealed himself yet.

“God, look at me. I’m 20 years old and can’t even hang out with friends for half an hour without getting anxious. I know they’re just trying to help by inviting me, but… I can’t deal with that much at once. Not like anyone would really notice if I went, anyway, but still…”

 ** _Ugh._**  If he had to listen to one more second of this pity parade he’d puke. Beetlejuice cracks his knuckles then bangs on the other side of the mirror pane, unceremoniously announcing his presence. 

“ _AHHH!!_ ” The human nearly keels over until their eyes focus on BJ’s bemused expression in the glass. It surprisingly doesn’t take long for them to adjust to his sudden appearance in their bathroom mirror. “Wait, what?! Is this a haunting?! I knew this house was  _old_ , but-”

“Pff! You  _wish_ this was a haunting, babes.” The poltergeist chuckled. “Nah, I was just passing through and noticed your little self-deprecating display through the mirror. You’ve gotta be more careful about what you say to yourself, dude.”

“Well,  _excuse me_  for trying to enjoy the privacy of my own home,  _sir_   _fantôme intrus!_  I mean, who do you think-” A realization seemed to dawn on their face. “Oh god, that means… you heard me? Saying ALL of that?”

Beetlejuice nods, thoroughly enjoying the red flush growing on the breather’s cheeks. They pull at their hair and sit back on the closed toilet seat behind them to process the last five minutes of their life. “Take your time, I got an eternity to wait for ya.”

“ _Ughhh_.” They groan, head in their hands. “Please tell me there aren’t any other ghosts back there laughing at me, too.”

“Nope. Just me.” BJ taps at the glass. “But hey, that ain’t the point, sweet cheeks. I don’t bang on the mirrors of just any old mortal, y’know?” That last part was a bit of a lie, but it was true that this person had held his interest longer than most, so they were special. 

“So? Am I supposed to thank you for gracing my bathroom with your presence or something?”

“You can thank me later, sure.” He winks. “But right now, you’ve got a problem. And it  _ain’t_ the smokin’ hot poltergeist talkin’ at ya through the mirror, either. If I was hearin’ correctly, you’ve got a little trouble meetin’ new people.”

“That’s none of your business.” The breather shot back, trying to avoid Beetlejuice’s undead gaze. “But… yeah. You heard right. So what about it?”

“So everything about it, kid! Sure, I’ve only known you for ten minutes, five of which you weren’t aware of which sours the pot for you a bit I’m sure, but hey! Point is, if you can get the attention of an undead party animal like me, you’ve got spunk enough to get a few lame breathers together and call them new pals. They won’t be as much fun as  _yours truly_ , yeah, but my point stands. Don’t sell yourself short and all that, y’know?”

Beetlejuice’s eyes had wondered during his improv inspirational address, but when they returned to make eye contact with his companion he was a little surprised to see them tearing up. “Whoa, hey! Don’t go pullin’ out the waterworks on me kid, I’m just tryna help!”

“No, no…” They wiped their eyes and stood again. “That was… oddly sweet. For a peeping tom, anyway. You… you really mean all that?”

Beej recovered quickly. “Hell, you want me to repeat myself? I’ll lay it on  _extra thick_  if ya need me to. You’re cute, babe. Bet any mortal would be interested in hangin’ around with ya.” He hovers closer to the mirror pane and grins demurely down at the breather before him, cocking one wicked eyebrow. “Maybe even a few ghosts too, huh? Maybe one  _specific_ ghost who’d really like to get to know you better outside of this broken bathroom mirror.”

That  _absolutely_ did the trick. The breather’s shy smile falters into something coy and they look down, tips of their ears going dark. “A-alright. Just… don’t try anything  _spooky_. I can’t have the floor shaking and the walls oozing slime, if that’s what’s on your mind.”

“ ** _HAHA!_** ” Beetlejuice cackles. “There’s nothin’ I do that ain’t spooky, babes. But nah…  _floors_ aren’t what I’m thinkin’ of shakin’  _tonight_.”

Suffice it to say, this breather was perfectly happy skipping that party. they had  _more_ than a new friend to show for it in the end. 


End file.
